The Suckiest Training Run in History

I tried to run 11 miles today. I made it 10.5. I did great until about mile 8, to tell you the truth.

After mile 8, I got so tired. My feet were hurting. It was hotter outside than it was supposed to be, by my calculations. My running pants were sticking to my legs. My shirt was soaked. Did I mention my feet were hurting? A toe on my left foot started to hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. My black toe on my right foot was hurting...I could picture the nail falling off and that was freaking me out.

These girls came to the track. Two skinny girls and then a bigger girl with really flabby legs and short shorts that said "Team Pink" across the ass. I mean, why? The two skinny girls walked a lap, stopped and rested, then walked another lap. I mean, these hoors all got out of the car, stretched like they were gonna do something, and walked a lap, rested, walked another lap, then quit. The girl with the thunder thighs and the short shorts that hurt my eyeballs did walk/run about 3 laps. But really, why bring your skinny ass to the track and do less than a mile?

Eh. That irritated me at mile 9. From mile 8 to mile 10.5 I was suffering. I mean I was full-out suffering, hurting, cursing, sweating, breathing really hard, didn't want to listen to my iPod, my water was gone, didn't want to listen to myself run, didn't want to run...I was sticky, sweaty, salty....all that shit. I hated it. I wanted to quit. I wanted to run the whole 11 but it just wasn't happening. I was mad at myself for walking as much of it as I had. I started to, and still do, doubt my ability to do this 1/2 Marathon in November. I am afraid I will look like an idiot and to make it worse I bullied a coworker into doing it with me and he is going to SMOKE my ass.

I came home and of course the stepchildren asked, "Did you run the whole thing?" and I said that I had done 10.5 and their faces were like, "You suck". I went to the bedroom still felt icky, woozy, and Bryan must have seen it because he told me to lie down. He put cold cloths on my neck and forehead, much to my dismay and I told him I didn't like it to which he promptly told me to lie still and STFU...nicely.

I noticed my black visor was COVERED in salt. I've never seen anything like that come off of my body before. My feet felt like they were smoldering, and I felt icky gross ew nasty nauseous vomitous mad sad crappy. I started to cry a little and he told me to stop.

What's up with that? Anybody ever been there before? I mean, no one is forcing me to go out and do this to myself. I feel real stupid right about now. Not in a good place this afternoon, my friends.

I'm not hungry, but my stomach is growling. I've had a banana, a peach, and an avocado for lunch. Anything else looks grody to me. I do want some pizza, and I will have pizza tonight by God.

But everything else around here makes me kinda "eh". Just don't want it. I'm guzzling water like it's nobody's business though.

Please, someone, tell me that they've been there, done that before. Because right now I feel like a LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.