I can't do this. I don't think I can do this. I think I can do this. I can do this. I did it.

So, that was my train of thought yesterday morning.

Don't ask me why, but this run kind of "snuck up on me". I mean, I knew I had 13 miles on tap to get done yesterday. I knew it all week, knew it all weekend. I kind of mentioned it on Saturday. However, it didn't loom over me like the previous ones have.

I think I even thought that I might not do it at all, ya know? I got up on Sunday, and I was pretty caught up on grading DQs since I worked at home on Thursday and Friday. That really helps...because when I'm in the office there are constant interruptions all day long. It's been really busy at work so it's hard to catch up. I'm used to spending about 2 hours or more on Sunday mornings grading DQs. I am also used to spending all day on Saturday running around like a crazy person trying to get everything, and I mean everything done so that on Sunday all I have to do is get up, stuff myself full of eggs and oatmeal, grade DQs, run, and then do nothing. Because I don't feel like doing anything after running for over 2 hours.

But since I had Thursday and Friday to work on stuff, Saturday wasn't that bad and Sunday came in very stealthily. Is that a word? Anyway, I got up and started the eggs, the oatmeal, drank my coffee, had my dookie (TMI) and graded DQs, which didn't take that long. I proceeded to get dressed and wonder what to wear since it was chilly out but not too chilly....long sleeved shirt, short sleeved, what? I decided on my T-shirt from the Carytown 10K in May. I usually wear technical sleeveless.....but it was chilly. Not chilly enough for my $50 long-sleeved compression shirt from Dick's yet. I'm sure I'll wear that soon.

I drove to Mom and Dad's neighborhood. I got to thinking that I didn't know if I could do that 2-mile circle 6 1/2 times. I was already bored, already apathetic about the run, and I just didnt' think I could do the same circle that many times. I decided to drive their whole neighborhood: down every cul-de-sac, down every street, all the way to the river, etc. It was only a 5-mile span. I would still have to run that twice and then make up the 3 extra miles somewhere. I thought about how it was nice last Sunday to be able to stop at their house every 2-miles, take a sip of water, and then walk about 0.2 mile before starting to run again. I also thought about what if I had a bathroom emergency and I was that far from their house.

I decided to run the stupid 2-mile circle 6/12 times.

I parked the car and went in the house. Dad was funny. "Um, yeah. So, why do you have to run 13 miles?" I explained to him why. "So, where are you going to be?" I told him where I was going to be. Then I went outside and started my run.

As usual: The "Why am I doing this" feeling started. The negative talk, the degrading voices in my head. I pushed them out and focused on my music. I try to just not think about what I am doing, but that is hard.

The first mile wasn't too bad. I get to their house, which is the 1/2-way mark between the two miles. I run past and go the other mile, come back, go back the other way, come back, and take my first sip of water. All of this is mental. I just keep focusing on numbers, songs, getting to their driveway, taking sips of water which are like liquid golden goodness. It's funny how mental this whole thing is. It's all in the brain.

I figured out now that after taking a sip of water, I would walk about 0.2-0.3 miles, start to jog, work into a sprint, and then run 2 miles without stopping, end up at their house, take a sip of water, and repeat.

I'm proud of how easy the run actually was. I did it in 2:25:30 and I can't argue with that. The only thing is that on mile 11 it started getting really hard and I was hating life. I decided to walk a little bit during that mile and when I started running again I thought my knees were going to explode. Yesterday was the first run that I started feeling it in my joints. When I was done my feet really hurt. When I left Mom and Dad's and went down the front steps it really, really hurt and I looked like an old crippled lady.

Again, when I was running it was pretty easy. I think that is the whole purpose of the 1/2-training schedule. I think it just whips your body into such a running state that you just don't hardly notice the running anymore once you get started. It's getting started that sucks and it's the end-product that is both good and bad. Bittersweet. You're really proud of what you've just done but you are hella tired and sore. But accomplished.